It's Too Late
by 1mcswarek
Summary: My take on what happens when Andy comes back from project Dakota 10 months later, she is finally willing to let sam back in but he has moved on.
1. Chapter 1

My take on what happens when Andy comes back from project Dakota 10 months later, she is finally willing to let sam back in but he has moved on. (I am a huge Mcswarek fan and I know this would probably never actually happen cause we all know that Sam would wait for Andy and not move on but I wanted to give something different a shot). I found this incredibly hard to write convincingly so please let me know what you think. This one is for all those mcswarek hatters out there though I know that is probably a very small minority.

Enjoy :)

* * *

It took 10 months of her being someone else to realize what she wanted. 10 months of long days pretending to be married to a drug smuggler to figure out what she needed. 10 months of being Melanie Jones, a kick ass woman not to be messed with to figure out that what she needed was him.

"Are you ready?" Asked Nick. She had grown easy to read when she was around him, a kind of transparency that had gotten them out of many sticky situations. They had grown close to each other over the last 10 months but both were apprehensive about returning to their old lives. The same lives they had walked out on just 10 months ago. It had only seemed like yesterday to him that they were laughing and drinking coffee in parade but he knew that when they returned things would be different. Life wouldn't have stopped just because they left. The world kept turning and he was finally ready to face that fact. He just wasn't entirely sure if she was.

"Yeah, I think I am" _How ironic_ she thought. Those were the exact same words she had said to Nick when they were driving away to their new lives less than a year ago. Back then she thought she had meant it but just weeks after beginning the op she realized this was not the case. She was still in love with him and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't suppress those feelings. She had tried, believe me she had tried but it just wasn't possible. He owned a piece of her heart and she was never going to be able to get that back again.

"So are you going to patch things up with Sam or...?"

"Um, yeah. I'm ready to give him another chance."

"And what if he has moved on?" _Shit._ That thought hadn't crossed her mind. Here she was, McNally the over thinker but she had forgotten to think about that very important detail. _What if he had moved on? And where would that leave her? _She pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind and tried to concentrate on other things. Like seeing Traci again and Leo. She had felt really guilty walking out on them, especially after Jerry's death but she would understand, she always did. And what about her dad? Would he still be drinking? Ha, that was a question she already knew the answer to.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"I said what if he has moved on. What will you do then?"

"I guess I will just have to cross that bridge when I get to it"

* * *

Walking through the doors of 15 division bought back all the memories ten long months of being someone else had erased. Looking around she saw all the familiar faces she had missed. All but one.

Traci practically ran up to her and threw her arms around her, almost knocking her over.

"oh my god Andy, you're back!"

"ha yeah I am"

"Don't you ever do that to me again, I missed you so much" she was still holding on fiercely

"I know and I'm so sorry Trac, I just had to do it, I needed a change"

"I know, I know, I'm just really glad you're back"

"So am I"

"So can we meet for lunch? I want to know everything about the case"

"Can we make it dinner? There's someone I need to see and talk to first"

"Um Sure that's fine, wait are you talking about Swarek?"

"Andy that really isn't a good idea" But Andy was already walking away, searching out the man she loved but no longer loved her.

* * *

She found him in the men's locker room. Taking a deep breath she pushed open the door. There he was, his back facing her but he was still the same Sam she had left 10 months ago. The same Sam that had said he would fight for her, that he wouldn't give up until she said yes. She hoped that he had meant what he said. She was finally willing to give them another go and she didn't know what she would do if he said no.

* * *

He didn't need to turn around to know it was her. Even after 10 months she still had that effect on him. A million thoughts raced through his mind as he breathed in the scent of her, something else that hadn't left his mind in the 10 months they were apart. Turning to face her, he basked in her beauty. She hadn't changed one bit. Sure she was a little thinner and there were dark circles under her eyes, both results he knew about all too well with undercover ops, never enough food or sleep, but she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes upon.

She was also still the same person that walked away without so much as a goodbye, mere moments after declaring his love for her. He wanted, had wanted, to fight for her. He was willing to give up everything to be with her. He had laid everything out there in the open, his heart on the line and she had once again broken it, without a thought of what it would do to him. 10 months of over analyzing everything had made him come to the conclusion that sure, he knew why she did what she did but that doesn't mean he understands it.

The 10 months apart had done nothing to dim the love he felt for her and yet here she was, standing in front of him, and he wasn't willing to let her back in. The 10 months had allowed him to put up his iron strong walls that only she had managed to break through, except this time they were twice as high.

"You're back?" was all he could manage to say

"Yeah I am. Sam I missed you so much and I want to give us another..." he cut her off mid sentence, not ready to hear her excuses.

"It's too late" He let the words hang in the air like fog on a cold winters night. "Wasn't that what you said to me when I told you I loved you? When I laid my heart on the line for you and you walked away without looking back"

"I know Sam but..." He wouldn't let her finish this time either. He needed to say these things, to get them off his chest.

"No buts McNally. You left without so much as a goodbye, after I was willing to give us another chance. You broke my heart without thinking what it would do to me. What? Did you think you could leave for 10 months to further you career and come back and expect to find me still waiting around for you?"

"No Sam. Remember you left too, for that thing with Brennan, without so much as a thought about me either"

"You have no right to say that!" He was practically yelling now but he didn't care. "We weren't even together! You never told me you didn't want me to leave. I'm not a friggen mind reader McNally! That job offer first came up while you were still with Callahan so you have no right to say that. You picked him over me and for what? A guy who puts a ring on your finger and then cheats on you with his ex"

Now she was pissed off. "Well if you weren't so stubborn and actually told me how you felt I wouldn't have picked him over you. Your inability to say what you want is what got us here and..."

"No. What got us here was your inability to give a fuck about anyone but yourself. I told you how I felt! I told you that I loved you for godsake and you just walked away!

"Sam..."

"No McNally, it's too late!"

Those words hurt more than she thought they would. What hurt more though was watching the silhouette of the man that would once upon a time have done anything for her. As a single tear trickled down her cheek she thought_ where is that man now?_

* * *

Thanks so much for reading and please review. I'm not sure if this is a one-shot or potentially more so let me know if you would like to see it made into a multi-chapter fic.

Thanks :)


	2. Chapter 2 option 1

hey guys :) First of all, wow, thanks so much for all the great reviews - they definitely gave me a lot to think about! The consensus was that you wanted me to turn this into a multi-chapter fic so that's what I'm doing. However, that is where the consensus stopped! Some of you wanted me to make them see other people to make the other jealous, others wanted me to make them end game, split them up altogether, make them see other people just to have them get back together, give Andy a hot new boyfriend to fall in love with or give Sam a girlfriend that would show him the real meaning of what it is to love and be loved.

So I have decided to post 2 options and let you decide what one I roll with. Below is option 1 and the next chapter is option 2. Please read both and then review by saying wether you want me to continue with option 1 or 2. Both are very different. I will continue with the one that gets the most votes

please read and review :)

* * *

_What the hell had he done? _Those were the words replaying on his mind, all night long as sleep escaped him. Replaying the argument over and over in his head he couldn't help but think he had gone a little too far this time. Sure he was pissed at her, like _really_ pissed but he had imagined their reunion a different way. She would come home and he would welcome her back with open arms, a far cry from tonight. He couldn't help it though. Watching her walk through the door and acting as nothing had happened between them, as if the last 10 months hadn't happened.

The things he had said to her, they had been on his mind for an awful long time and just seeing her standing there he could no longer hold it all back. Now he can't get the image out of his head, of him throwing insult after insult at her while the look on her face turned from happiness to shock, then to confusion, anger, regret, hurt and finally the one he hated the most, unrecognition. He could just see the cogs turning in her head as every emotion was displayed clearly on her face. What she must have been thinking... _Who the hell is this man? Clearly not the one I left 10 months ago._ And there lies the problem. Sure he regretted saying all those things but it didn't make them untrue. _She_ had left _him_, not the other way around this time. Ok, so he admitted he may have fucked up a little when he walked away from her in the parking lot that night but he needed space. He needed time alone with his own thoughts, to sort through his grief in his own way. His best friend had just died for godsake and he laid some, if not most, of the blame on himself.

All he needed was a little time and space, but no, McNally couldn't even give him that. She just couldn't leave him alone for 1 day. 1 day to sort through the jumble in his head, and so when she cornered him that night in the parking lot of the penny he just didn't know what to do anymore. So, he took the easy way out. But had he made a mistake tonight by letting her have it, all of it. All of the pent up anger and rage that had slowly been eating away at him.

This was the internal argument he had been fighting in his head for the past 7 hours. His head saying one thing while his heart was saying another, neither willing to back down or give in to the other.

* * *

What the hell had happened back there. That was the question on her mind that was rendering her unable to sleep, just lying awake replaying his words over and over and over in her head.

_No. What got us here was your inability to give a fuck about anyone but yourself. _

Those were the ones that stung the most. OK, so she had only been thinking about herself when she left but he had been the only one only thinking about himself when he ended things between them. She needed to think about things, process and think about them. One measly 'I love you' wasn't enough to fix things. It wasn't a band aid that you could just apply and hide the wound. The worst thing of all though, was he was right. She always put herself first before others. After years of having to take care of herself she had learned to put up huge walls and not let anyone in, to put her needs above everyone else's

When she left it was in the hope that he had meant what he said, that he would still be waiting for her. What a joke that turned out to be

* * *

How the fuck was he going to make things right. He needed to make it up to her, let her know he regretted saying everyone of those things, wipe away the tears from her face that he had so cruely caused. But what if he had ruined his chance. What if she what's changed her mind. He didnt even let her tell him what she was going to say so he had no real idea wether she even wanted him back at all. She had trusted him and he just threw it back in her pretty face, not thinking about what it would do to her, them, if there was even a 'them' anymore because he has managed to fuck that up royally.

If he wanted her back, which he did, he was going to have to fight for her.

* * *

Ok guys so that is option 1, please check out option 2 in the next chapter and then review by telling me which one you liked best :)


	3. Chapter 2 option 2

This is chapter is option 2. Since I couldn't decide between the 2 I will let you decide.

* * *

It had been a well since the confrontation in the men's locker room but he hasnt had a solids night sleep since. He regretted saying what he did but that didn't make much difference now. Not since he saw her yesterday with a new guy he hadn't seen before.

He had been about to go up to her and apologize, try and fix things between them, when this tall dark haired man she was talking to kissed her on the lips and then waved goodbye as he walked off. When he first saw them he just assumed they were friends but that was clearly not the case.

1 week and she had already moved on. 1 week for her to forget they were ever a couple, well that's the way she was acting anyway. At first he thought it was just because of their fight, or more accurately him throwing insults at her the moment she returned while she just stood there, taking it. He figured it must of been something she had learned on the uc op because she had never really had a very good poker face, not until now that is. But, he did see the single tear fall down her check, rolling down her pale skin until it dropped onto her shirt. When he saw that tear fall he had wanted nothing more than to brush it away, to take her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was. Sorry that he had said those things, sorry that he had made her cry, that he had missed her, that for the past 10 months he felt like a part of him had been missing.

Except that those words didn't come. Instead, he found himself telling her that it was too late, his head taking control of his heart.

He needed to find out who this new guy McNally was seeing was, so he did the only logical thing, he went in search of Traci, if anyone knew it would be her.

He found her on desk duty. He figured Andy had probably already told her about their fight and the things he had said so he wasn't expecting to get much out of her.

She saw him walking up to the desk and knew what he wanted before he even asked it. She had seen the way he was looking at Andy and Matt, jealousy written all over his face, and she wasn't going to have a bar of it.

"Sam. What can I help you with?" She really didnt even need to ask though.

"Nash, I, um, I was just wondering about that guy I saw Andy..." she cut him off before he could finish.

"Sam, stop there. You left, or do you not remember that? You left her standing in a parking lot while you drove away. Then, while she was holding a grenade you told her you loved her and after you said you would do everything to make it work. She took an amazing uc opportunity because she thought you would still be waiting here for her with open arms and she needed time to sort out all this stuff, figure out wether or not she still wanted to be with you. She finally comes back ready and willing to work on things with you but instead you throw it all back in her face. She came to me crying that night, literally beside herself because she trusted you and you knew everything to say that would hurt her. She has finally decided to start hanging out with other guys again and she is actually happy so you have no right to screw that up for her! Just let her be happy Sam, don't you think you owe her that much at least?"

"Your right Traci and I'm sorry, I'll leave her alone from now on"

"wait Sam, that's not what I meant"

"Its not?" Ok, now he was really confused "cause you just made your opinion pretty clear"

"I know but I didn't mean avoid her or anything. The way I see it, you are only here getting info about Matt because" so that was his name "because you are jealous and want her back, even though you really screwed up this time. I did say I want her to be happy though and I've only ever trueU seen her happy is around you. Sure she looks happy with Matt but that won't last, she's only doing it to forget about you" The only way to get over someone is to get under someone, right? "But Sam she won't admit this to anyone, not even me"

"So then what do I do?"

"You make her jealous"

"Traci, I really don't think that is such a great idea" He didn't want Andy to get the wrong idea and think he had moved on

"Sam it's perfect. Shes only gonna admit she still loves you when she thinks she might be loosing you for good, sort of like her with the grenade"

"Yeah, ok that might work. Thanks Nash, I really owe you"

"Yeah yeah, just don't screw it up this time Sam, you're running out of second chances"

Well, he was not expecting that, it did make sense though. Now all he has to do is find another woman, how hard can it be?

* * *

So guys, that was option 2. Don't forget to review by saying wether you want me to continue with option one or option two.

I hope you liked it :)


	4. Chapter 3

Hey guys :) First of all I would just like to say thank you for your reviews. At the start I was leaning towards option 2 but after reading what you all wrote I have decided to go with option 1. However, this fic wont be a stereotypical fluffy one where they say sorry and just make up instantly, they will have to fight for each other. I think option 1 will be more true to their characters and I hope you like it.

And a shout out to everyone out there who is reading from New Zealand, Love you guys!

Enjoy:)

* * *

They were partnered together that week since she had to ride with a t.o for a couple of weeks after being back on the streets. Awkward silences consumed them as the drove in the cruiser, only talking when it was necessary and only ever about a job.

It was eating him up inside. He couldn't handle the tense air surrounding them, hanging heavy with anger and regret, seeping into the cracks that 10 months without her had created. Glancing over to look at her he no longer saw the rookie she once used to be. Instead, in her place was a woman just as, if not more, beautiful than before except that now she carried herself with more confidence and purpose. She sat with her shoulders back, her mouth in a straight line and determination on her face. If she had been affected by his harsh words she was doing a good job at hiding it.

Another thing he had noticed was her smile, or more correctly the lack of one. He hadn't seen her smile this whole last week and he hated that this was because of him. He missed her smile desperately. Thinking back to her return he remembered the huge grin she had had on her face walking into the locker rooms, before he unleashed his anger on her. Her laugh, another thing he was having a hard time living without.

Not being able to take the silence anymore he decided to say something, maybe apologize for the way he had acted.

"Andy" He said, his voice betraying him when it wavered slightly

She sat still, looking straight ahead at the car infront of them

"Andy" he tried again. She still failed to turn and face him. His heart literally ached when he saw that she couldn't even look at him.

"We need to talk" His voice was low and quiet, like maybe if she didn't hear him then she couldn't reject him. Then she couldn't tell him how he no right to say those things. She wouldn't be able to break his heart again, the crack that had formed when she left growing slightly bigger.

Even though she wouldn't look at him, she did respond. "Ok fine then, except this time I talk and you listen" her voice had a sharp edge to it, a cross between hurt and anger.

"You break up with me in a parking lot. You ignore me for six weeks, like I, _we_, meant nothing to you. Then while I'm holding a grenade you declare your love for me and then cover it up with some stupid joke afterward. Then I come back after 10 months of thinking of nothing but you, finally ready to give us another shot, thinking you would be happy have me back at the _least,_ since the last time we saw each other you told me you loved me, that you would fight for me. Instead you hurl insult after insult at me. You knew the things that would hurt me the most and yet you used them to your advantage. I trusted you. I _loved_ you Sam" Her next words came out as a whisper "I still love you"

Now everything was out in the open, but that didn't mean he wasn't still confused

"So where does that leave us?" he asked trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to hear the answer

"Thats something you need to figure out cause I'm sick and tired of waiting for you to make up your mind"

So he did the only thing he could think of at that point in time. He pulled the car over to a curb and turned to face her

"Sam what are you doing we don't have..." He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. They were soft and warm and he had missed they way they had felt against his. Although he was having trouble saying the right words he hoped that this kiss would convey everything he was trying but failing to say. A promise that he _would_ fight for her. That there was no way in hell he was giving her up, letting her go. She was stiff against his touch so he brought his hand up to her check,caressing it with his thumb and deepened the kiss. He wasn't quite sure wether it was a figment of his imagination but he was ninety five percent sure he heard her let out a muffled sob when his hand met her face. He finally felt her giving in to him just before she abruptly pulled away, breaking the moment he found himself getting lost in.

"Sam... We can't, _you_ cant just" she gestured between them "and expect it to fix everything. Just like that one measly 'I love you' wasn't enough to fix things before"the words came out a hushed whisper and she regretted them the moment they left her lips

"I just thought..."

"No. That's the thing, you never think. I can't read your god damn mind Sam!" She seemed a little bit pissed now "You need to tell me what you are thinking or else this isn't gonna work. In fact i'm not sure if it will ever work. We're just do different, we want, _need_, different things"

He was still right up in her personal space and those words stung like a slap across the face. Staring into her eyes he caught a glimpse of what looked like regret before she looked down at her hands and pulled back.

So where did that leave them?

* * *

Thanks for reading and pleeeeeeeeeeeease review :)


	5. Chapter 4

Hey guys :)

I'm soooo sorry it took me so long to update, things have just been hectic.

Anyway, here is chapter 4 so enjoy and please read and review

* * *

Today had been a long and hard shift, being Friday night she felt sorry for the night crew that was going to have to deal with the mess that they only had to deal with for about 2 hours before shift was over. 4 arrests and two foot chases lasting 7 and 12 blocks had nackered her out, the only saving grace being that Sam and her were now working opposite shifts for a while.

Emerging from the locker rooms she hoped that she would miss seeing the night crew going out on patrol, miss seeing Sam. 2 days later and they still hadn't spoken yet about what was said in the cruiser. She wasnt entirely sure where they had left things, sure she had said that she still loved him and that he needed to figure out what he wanted but she had also said that they were too different, that they wouldn't work. Maybe it was for the best. Spending the last two days just focusing on the job had left her with some clarity, allowing her to sort through the jumble of thoughts in her mind.

That clarity was far from gone now and instead she could feel the start of a headache coming on, a dull throb in the back of her head that would no doubt turn into a full on migrane if she didn't get home and relax now.

The walk home passed rather quickly but looking at her watch she saw it was already 9:30 pm, she hadn't eaten in over eight hours. God, no wonder her stomach was rumbling. Making a mental inventory of what was currently in her pretty empty pantry and cupboards she decided it would be two minute noodles tonight, again.

As she approached her building the fatigue and headache grew worse and she wondered if she would even be able to manage making the two minute noodles. Climbing the steps one by one, up to her floor, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her door come into view. Something caught her eye though, and if it wasnt for how good it smelt she probably would have walked straight over it. Directly in front of her door has a Tupperware container containing food and a folded piece of paper on top. Picking up the container she opened the note and recognized the handwritting immediately, it was sort of hard to miss when you spent hours trying to decipher it at work to write up reports.

_I know what I want Andy but I think you need some time and space to decide. So I'm going to start small._

_I made you some dinner since you were working the after noon shift and I know how bare your cupboards normally are. It's spaghetti and meatballs, just put it in the microwave for 3 minutes and it should be good to go._

_enjoy, Sam_

She wasn't sure wether it was the tiredness or what but she suddenly felt cold tears slowly slide down her checks. Sam had gone to the trouble to make her a home cooked meal and obviously dropped it off before shift. He was never a jerk but she didn't think he was capable of something like this, especially after the way she had spoken to him in the squad car the other day. The grumbling of her stomach reminded her of just how hungry she really was and so she picked up the container and walked inside.

Dumping her bag by the door she walked to the kitchen and placed it in the microwave. Sure enough, three minutes later and she pulled a steaming hot container out and scoped the contents into a bowl. It smelt absolutely divine and brought back memories of nights spent alone in Sam's apartment, him cooking diner for them and her watching from a comfortable spot on one of his counters.

She practiacally scoffed the whole bowl down within minutes and was laying out on the couch relaxing. It was exactly what she had needed after a long shift and her mind started to wander back to what the first part of the note had said. He was giving her time to think about what she wanted but even she had no clue. Sure she still loves him but she isn't sure if they are going to be able to fix things. He was going to have to work a lot harder than before to get them back on track. He was after all the one that ended things and she still hadn't forgiven him for that. She was however, willing to try if he was willing to make an effort to win her back. Laying in bed that night she decided that since tomorrow was her day off, she would go grocery shopping and pick up some supplies. After all, she couldn't survive on two minute noodles for the next week and Sam's cooking had reminded her of what real food tasted like.

* * *

She was woken the next morning with a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomachit and then it suddenly dawned on her. Glancing at the alarm clock on her night stand she saw it was 8:30 already. _Crap_. It was rubbish day and she had forgotten to set her alarm to take it out. Throwing back the covers, she helplessly rummaged through a pile of clothes on the floor for a hoodie or something. She was cut short when she heard the rubbish truck approaching. Abandoning the search for some clothes she practically sprinted out her door and down the stairs, taking them two at a time. She almost tripped twice and nearly took out the old lady coming up the stairs in the other direction.

Looking down the street she saw the truck quickly approaching so she rushed to the back of the building to grab her trash bin. Still half asleep, she was confused when she didn't see it. The truck was infront of her building now and she started to panic. Rushing to the curb she stopped short when she saw her bin already sitting there, waiting for pickup. Who had taken out her trash? She knew it couldn't be any of her neighbours since they didn't have theirs out either, she was pretty sure that no one liked getting up early on a Saturday just to take out the trash.

Glancing down the street she was surprised to Sam walking down the footpath away from her. "Sam!" She called out to him. He turned around and smiled at her "Nice pajamas McNally" he said, he laughed loudly, then turned around and continued to walk in the other direction. Looking down, she realized that she was wearing a skimpy pair of boy shorts and a tank top, no bra. Blushing, she made a quick decision not to chase after him. She really wanted to and she probably would have if it wasnt for the fact that she was wearing very little clothing and she wouldn't, under any circumstances, recommend running without a bra.

He must of walked here after shift. A warm feeling spread through her chest when she realized that he walked here instead of taking his truck because he must of been exhausted after working the Friday night shift, he never like to drive after those - too scared he would fall asleep at the wheel. And yet he had walked all the way here just to take out her trash. _You don't have to do anything ok? I'm gonna do it all. I'm gonna make you dinner and take out your trash..._ His words came rushing back to her, hitting full force when she realized what he was trying to do.

He was trying to show her that he still meant everything he had said before she left, that he was still willing to do everything to try and win her back. _Did that mean he still loved her? _She pondered this as she walked back up the stairs to her apartment. Deciding that she would try and grab a few more hours sleep. She was opening her door when he elderly neigbour called out to her. "Andy honey"

"Yes Mrs McArthur?" She really was a very sweet old lady, a little bit lonely at times though since her husband died

"A very handsome man dropped this bag off for you before, he didn't want to wake you and I was just collecting my mail so I offered to give it to you" she held a brown bag out to her Andy took it.

"Oh, um, thankyou" she smiled and walked back into the apartment.

Tipping out the contents of the bag on her kitchen bench she giggled when she saw it all. There was two blocks of her favorite chocolate, a large tub of jelly tip ice cream (also her favorite), a bag of gummy bears, three of her all time favorite DVDs that she made Sam watch over and over with her curled up by him on the couch and a note. She opened it and read

_Morning gorgeous, I knew you wouldn't be up in time to take out the trash so thought I'd do it for you. _

_In the bag is all you need for a relaxing day off, so put your feet up and take some time to really chill out_

_I hope there's enough junk food in there for you, I know how much you eat and wipe that scowl off your face McNally, you're much prettier without it. _

_Have a good day, Sam_

Grabbing her phone off the coffee table she was about to call Sam when she realized he would be sleeping, and anyway this was sweet and all but she still wasnt sure wether or not they had a future as a couple. So instead she followed his instructions and grabbed a blanket from her bed, opened the junk food and plonked herself on the couch, she would try and call him later.

* * *

Ok so I'm really not sure if I like this or not but i thought I'd post it so you can tell me what you think. All reviews appreciated, even critical ones :)


End file.
